Why I hate cars.
Ok, no chit-chat. I’m pissed that all of the cars of the last few years look like garbage. You ever wonder why the new Mustang and Camaro look the way they do? I’m going to guess because the original was a hot seller for both companies and they are going to cash in on the wave of nostalgia that has soaked America. Which I don’t have a problem with to be completely honest. What I DO have a problem with are the rest of the vehicles on the market. Why do they have to be so ugly?
What follows is complete conjecture and is totally unfounded. Some of it may not be in a complete thought.
I am going to guess that the energy crisis of the late 70’s and early 80’s shifted the emphasis to cheap (production cost) automobiles. Actually, no guessing involved there because it did. But design is a crucial element in the production of something and one way to lower the cost is to spend less time doing something. Time is money is it not? What is the easiest way to simplify a sensuous curves and striking lines than to convert the whole damn thing into boxes. Time spent designing: Cut. Time spent engineering: Reduced. Time a cost saving measure would spend as a cornerstone design tool: Too long.
The next big change came from the drivers themselves. Seat belts brought about crash regulations and put safety in the spotlight. Now I am not saying safety is a bad thing, but that sometimes we can go a little too far. For example, I recall an article in Car and Driver about new pedestrian safety laws that would require the front bumper height to be of a certain distance so as not to damage the knees of a pedestrian should they be picked off while not using the crosswalk. Also required would be at least 4 inches of crush space under the hood before contact with any solid structures so that those morons that throw themselves out into the roadway won’t get too badly injured. If this ever passes, I’m going to start riding a horse.
What is the most depressing thought of this whole ramble? The thought that BUYERS are not expecting more from the automakers. It was EXPECTED that the newest Chevy in the 50’s would be something stylish and radical. (Tail fins anyone? You don’t even have to have been around in the 50’s to know about those.) What is more interesting is the fact that those cars were not for some niche market, they were the bread and butter of the company. Does anyone really think that a 2001 Chevy Malibu is going to go down in history for the way it looks? How about a 1999 Ford Taurus? 2006 Buick Lucerne? (Oh wait… is that the one with the holes in the fender?)
I have more to say but I will save it for another time. What’s your vote for least memorable car of the 90’s and today?
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