3 Reasons Spiderman 3 Sucked
First and foremost, I will never EVER proclaim to be any sort of comic book fan. The only comic book I have ever owned was Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book with audio cassette tape. That being said, I do believe that there are certain things that make a good movie and handily enough, comic books provide a good foundation for a good movie. But I digress. The real matter here is Spiderman, and without further ado, I present the three reasons I hate Spiderman 3:
- Emo Spidey- Lets be real here. What kind of SUPER HERO turns into an eyeliner-wearing, hair-flipping, tight-jean-wearing, egotistical wanker? Oh, my bad… That was the EVIL spidey. Watch out MJ, he shows his vengeance through sub-par dance skills and a knack for the piano. And if you aren’t careful, he might order you to make him COOKIES. Yes kids, he truly is an awful, awful person. Nearly as bad as when Dr. Octavius decided to send that train full of innocents into the bay.
- Venom- What a letdown. The one character I was actually looking forward to seeing in the movie and his total screen time was all of maybe three minutes. Additionally, he was nowhere near as big, nasty, or mean as I thought he was going to be. The Sandman had more character development than Venom, which is a disappointment because, from my understanding, Venom and Spiderman have a interesting history. A history which gets cut short and not fully emphasized in the film.
- All the hype- Name one other movie that was released the same week as Spiderman 3. How about that awesome movie that came out the week before? Wait a tick, there was not a single hit within a 1 week radius of Spiderman 3. No wonder everyone went to see it. Disturbia had been in theaters for two weeks and wasn’t even that strong of a contender in the first place. To me, it isn’t any wonder that the movie made as much as it did. Any proclamation of a new dark, moving, EMOtional story are weak promises at best. I for one think that the trailers for Spiderman 3 were better than the movie.
In Summary: I think the whole Spiderman franchise is diluted for an audience under the age of 16. The drama and intensity are missing in some cases due to bad acting and in others to bad directing. The first film was not as deplorable as the second and the third was a waste of my time and money.
Am I off the mark? Care to step up and defend this turd? Have at it.
by Larry
On May 26, 2007 at 6:37 am
That would be equivalent to defending the Holocaust – you just can’t.
I saw this movie as well on opening night, and it was a nightmare. I hate most superhero flicks due to cheesy, predictable and melodramatic plots / acting (this was free in case you’re wondering what my reasoning was here,) but this was especially bad.
About ten minutes in, most of the people in the theater with an IQ over 70 were laughing at all the stupid moments in the movie, or just getting pissed at the complete lack of… well, anything that normally makes a movie good. I noticed a few couples walk out, which doesn’t prove anything other than this movie might be a dating deal-breaker. That would be reason enough not to see it.
I’m starting a petition soon – this will be the first DVD release to include a cyanide pill.
by ChrisHP
On May 29, 2007 at 5:39 am
1. If you were paying any attention, there was no emo Spidey. In fact, he showed less emotion when he was all emo’d out. I think it unfair that the internet dubbed him emo Spidey so early on when clearly he was bad 1950s greaser Spider-man.
2. Venom… yeah, what the hell? I still maintain that the explosion nearly knocked him away. Sigh, I wish… I want him back.
3. Nothing makes a movie worse than over-hyping it. You go in expecting sirloin, leave with a Big Mac. Expectations can make or break a movie. That’s the reason I like Pirates 1 so much. I went in expecting an absolute stinker, and was pleasantly surprised to find myself amused by the movie.
Yes, I too was disappointed by Spiderman3. I loved 1 and 2, i felt that they accurately handled the characters and Spider-man as a whole. Plus, unlike most superhero movies, I could watch them without crying (Daredevil or Ghostrider, any one?). Spider-man 3 attempted too much and just didn’t come through with any of it. I would have been much happier had they just split the movie into a ‘quadlogy’ and fleshed things out a bit more. And I wish Mary Jane died. God, I hate her.
Warning: Geek Rant
As much as I enjoy Venom, the sad fact is that in this movie he received more back story then he did his original comic introduction. Eddie Brock was just made up on the spot when Venom was introduced in the 80s. Sandman, however, is one of Spidey’s original villians, one of the 1st he fought. He has a long back story, and was even a superhero for some time. Although I love Venom, most of his character story is retconned after the fact. Just like in the movie, his original motivation to kill Parker was “you lost me my job. And my girl, too, I guess.”
Geek rant over.
Oh well… maybe they can pick it up again with #4… because we all know there is a 4th coming.
by Travis
On May 29, 2007 at 6:34 am
Thanks for the info HP. Like I said, I have never proclaimed to be a comic book fan, I just assumed based upon how much everyone loved Venom that he was a larger character. Thats what I get for assuming.
How could they not make a fourth? Highest grossing movie of all time on opening weekend, opening day, and opening week… Thats got cash cow written all over it.
by Ethan
On May 29, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Ok, i can’t really argue with the critics, spidey 3 pretty much was a squashed bug. Though chris knows more abouthe comics then I do,hence the new information that Venum was created on the spot and filled in through back history, i was very dissapointed with his charcter. Like travis I was expecting him to be huge, in the comic books Eddy B. was a larg guy, not some whimpy little turd who couldn’t lift the TP. Also, what the fudge was up with him as venom…in all of the 4 shots of him, he took the symbot off his face! Thats one of the coolist parts of venom, yet for some reason he was always takeing it off!? ALl in all I thinkt he movie lacked so much, which is sad because spidey was one of the coolist comic books ever andthis third movie kinda blew a donkey then spitballed it to a cow and then took it back.
by ChrisHP
On May 30, 2007 at 5:28 am
I still have hopes for #4. Maybe it can fix everything. And maybe finally kill Kirsten Duns- … Mary Jane. Ah, MJ, you are the most shallow female lead ever.
“Peter… it’s hard no one likes me.”
“I understand completely. No one liked Spiderman either, but you gotta keep trying.”
“NO! You’re not listening, you don’t get it.”
“No… no, i do get it. That’s what I’m saying. You know, except the people that don’t like me try to kill me and everyone I love, but you know, acting is tough too.”
“NO! YOU DON’T LISTEN! I’m going to make out with Harry. He has a goblin Glider!”
And, Travis, Venom is actually a larger character, he just isn’t as fleshed out as Sandman (who has 20 extra years of history). I didn’t mind that Venom wasn’t huge, because the Ultimate universe Eddie (That’s Eddie Brock JUNIOR) was scrawny too, but Venom was kinda big. I just wish they didn’t kill Eddie off. Oh yeah, that’s Eddie Brock JUNIOR.
by Sarah
On June 1, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I agree, Spiderman 3 sucked. A lot.
by Chad N
On June 5, 2007 at 4:56 pm
My post got cut off, here it is again:
Though few would contest the fact that I am one of the, if not the biggest nerd they have ever met, my nerdiness doesn’t really extend into comic book land. Most of my spiderman knowledge comes from the 90’s cartoon (which was awesome). My first point will be one that has been missing so far. They didn’t really aim to make this movie good, just profitable. That is why many scenes, including action scenes, were shot inappropriately close-up. They wanted clips to play well on cell phones in order to generate more revenue.
I was also very pissed that Eddie Brock was not a hulking fellow, but looked like a shitty Peter Parker clone (those two actors look the fucking same, and no male with balls goes by “Topher” instead of “Chris;” none of us would associate with HP except to kick him in the non-nuts if he went by “Topher” and you all know it. When I saw the guy playing Sand Man, I thought he was Eddie Brock and didn’t look too bad. Fuckin’ wrong.
Lastly, since Chris mentioned it and I am doing community service by educating the world on this subject, I have to mention goddamned Pirates 1. Yes, I saw it, and it was worth watching through once, but it wasn’t that damn good. It had a very forgettable plot complimented by CGI of a level that we’d scene 100 times before. The only thing that made if good in any way was one very well-acted and amusing character. Pirates 1, 2, and 3 should all have been one comedy special consisting of 90 minutes of Jack Sparrow in front of the brick wall cut out all the other crap
by ChrisHP
On June 7, 2007 at 5:56 am
Well, Chad, my point about Pirates 1 was that I went in expecting it to be excruciating, unwatchable, painful to sit through, but I was pleasantly surprised. I liked the other two as well, but after seeing Pirates 3 twice in theatres in a 3 day period, i don’t think I can watch it again any time soon.
Also, Spidey 3 just had a fuckton of problems. At least the Sandman was cool…